A man lived in the tombs. He was a throwaway person. And society had tossed him. They chained him hand and foot. But he broke the chains and streaked naked in the valley below. Scars, like tattoos covered his body. His shame exposed for the whole community to witness. He had no stronghold. No shoulder … More Finding the Ultimate Secure Attachment
Consistency is the key to the process of change. And I’ve told people for years that the most important thing to do when seeking change is to show up every day in a small way. I believe the people who just show up (those who do the right thing on a consistent basis), whether it’s … More The Consistency Principle
One of Anne Lamott’s friends said mournfully that he’d lived his life like the professor on Gilligan’s Island. While he found time to fashion generators out of palm fronds, vaccines out of algae, he never got down to fixing that huge hole in the boat so he could go home. Then Lamont asks, “How many … More The Hole in the Soul
I hear voices. You hear voices, too. Most of the time these voices are echoes of the past. Something my mother told me. Something my father once said. Then there’s that tiny voice inside my head that wants to speak for me. It tries to keep me bottled up in shame. “Remember when you ______________” … More How Does God Talk?
Even after 20 years of being in recovery, I still can feel hopeless and anxious. Not too long ago I was in a dark night of the soul, as we all have from time to time. I felt like I was losing my peace of mind, my sobriety, my physical health, my integrity, my character, … More Anxiety Exists in the Vacuum of Hopelessness
Recently, I have been stuck in a pattern that I dislike: longing for intimacy, but being terrified of vulnerability. For me, there are two types of vulnerability: one type I bring into a small group; the second I bring to one-on-one relationship. In close personal relationship I am far more guarded. I am comfortable … More Why I run from what I long for…
I was in group the other day, we were talking about struggles with anxiety and stress. I shared that the reality about my anxiety is that it stems from areas of my life that I am trying to “control” and I can’t. In my fear I turn to obsessing and worrying about the uncontrollable and … More Conditional Gratitude